


our heads are full of love and blood and whiskey

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: me sobbing about critical role [118]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Crushes, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotionally Repressed, F/M, Gen, Huddling For Warmth, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Pre-Stream (Critical Role), Widobrave Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23271757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: widobrave week: day 1: pre-streamnott and caleb huddle for warmth on a cold night.
Relationships: Nott & Caleb Widogast, Nott/Caleb Widogast
Series: me sobbing about critical role [118]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1266866
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	our heads are full of love and blood and whiskey

**Author's Note:**

> title from "blood and whiskey" from high noon over camelot by the mechanisms ;)

nott pulls the threadbare cloak tighter around herself, and tries not to pull harder on her bandages. they’re already pulled tight enough to hurt, but it’s so _cold_ they may as well not be there at all. 

it’s not even _snowing_ , is the thing. and maybe she should be grateful she’s not cold _and_ wet, but it’s hard to be grateful when the wind is shearing her skin and she’s shaking like a leaf and there isn’t even a fire started because they’re still too close to the town for it to be safe and caleb’s out of spells. 

which. yes. caleb. 

caleb the human man, caleb who she broke out of prison with, caleb who is a wizard, who does _magic_ , who has _power_ , ~~and a very nice jaw~~ , who is sitting a few feet away from her, frumpkin wrapped around his chin like a scarf, looking no warmer than her for it. 

if she were anything else and anywhere else with anyone else, maybe she would scoot closer. maybe she would curl up into his side and whisper _just tonight_ , whisper, _just for the warmth_ , and maybe she wouldn’t feel the harsh cold burning her throat with every breath, making her too-long ears ache, but as soon as the thought crosses her mind, she shoves it away. 

she’s a _goblin_ , and he’s a _human_ , and granted, caleb’s only reaction to meeting her was a surprised “oh” and then, “what’s your name?” and her goblinhood was never brought up again but you never _know_ , at least, veth would have never cuddled with a goblin, not even for warmth, but then. she’s not veth, is she. 

as her thoughts tie themselves into knots and her fingers get number, caleb lets out what she’s pretty sure is a swear in a different language, and looks at her apologetically. 

“i am, ah, sorry, nott, but ah. i think we may have to, em. sleep. _closer_. to, to preserve warmth.”

and nott freezes, and then feels terribly guilty, for making him be the one to bring it up, and she doesn’t move away as he awkwardly pulls over his tattered bedroll- they have just the one between them, and she’d insisted he take it, and he’d tried to insist she take it back, that he would be fine with just frumpkin, but she’d dug in her heels and eventually he’d given in. she’s good at that, digging her heels in.

they’re avoiding the north, but the winters in the empire have always been unforgiving, nott knows, ~~veth _knows_~~ , but that doesn’t make her curse them any less as she lies down with her back to caleb’s chest, trying to ignore the way her heart is beating like a chased rabbit’s.

frumpkin nuzzles in between them, and nott can feel him purring on the back of her neck, and she tries not to be too jealous of the magic cat that doesn’t feel cold. 

caleb offers to take the first watch, and nott agrees, and tries to sleep, but instead her mind feels the beating of a heart behind her back and nott thinks of yeza, and cold winter nights when they would drag every blanket from their room and snuggle into a pile in front of the fire. and he would hold her, and whisper alchemical formulas in her ears to make her laugh, except.

except it isn’t yeza’s, but human hands around her waist. and nott thinks about caleb’s spellbook, full of runes and glyphs and arcane symbols she can’t even begin to read, and the kind way he always speaks to her, explains things to her, and her heart thunders in her head, and nott wishes desperately for a drink.

it is late, far past the time caleb should have woken nott for her watch, and caleb is. not thinking. caleb is staring forward, ignoring the steady rise and fall of the blue cloak in his peripheral vision, keeping a steady eye out for wolves or bandits or any other thing that would attack them, and _not thinking_ about the outline of her ribs he can feel under his hands, or the soft breathing he can hear, or the frenetic beating of his traitorous heart. 

caleb is not thinking about the way this reminds him of cold nights in a cold dormitory, because caleb is not bren and caleb does not have astrid, and the body in his arms is smaller and sharper than astrid’s ever was. not that they are the same. could ever be the same.

they are so distinct that caleb has no problem separating them in his mind. _should_ , have no problem separating them in his mind, except his heart is still beating, _thumpthumpthump_ too quickly, and he wonders, _does she feel it? what must she think of me?_ except he doesn’t, because he is keeping watch and not thinking, and he is very, very grateful for the heavy presence of frumpkin on his chest. 

caleb doesn’t think about meeting her in the cell, the way her eyes had shone with reflected moonlight, or the nimbleness of her hands when she picked the lock, or the firm sincerity that brought him out of his head as he watched the jail burn. the claws on his arm, dragging him away.

caleb feels the steady beating of a sleeping heart under his palm and his breaths are steady and his heart is quick and when the not-thinking becomes just too much, when he worries his heart will burst right out of his chest, he taps her quickly on the shoulder.

he should have woken her up hours ago. he wakes her up now, and doesn’t think about it.


End file.
